Ask the Rabbi

Join our discussion of a variety of topics that touch our Jewish lives - everything from holidays, life-changing moments, and what it means to be a Jew today. If you have an idea for a blog post, or something that you'd like to see discussed, please comment below or send an email to share@theopentent.org.

Reflections on Parenting

by Rabbi Gayle Pomerantz, Founding Director

“Honor your father and mother (Ex. 20:12)”, the 5^th commandment, is in this week’s Torah portion, known as Yitro. Parenting seems to be my theme for the week. Last night, I participated in a session with a group of mothers of 4^th grade girls. Together, we are developing a Mother-Daughter Group. Today, I took part in the second session of a Blessing of a Skinned Knee Parenting Discussion Group. And in between I’ve been reading the book Nurture Shock.

Parenting is the most important job most of us will ever have yet these children come into our lives without any instruction manuals whatsoever! And just when we think we’ve got things figured out, our children reach a new stage which requires an entirely new figuring. That’s what makes these books and discussion groups so necessary and important.

One theme which came up at my Mother-Daughter group last night, and again at the Blessing of a Skinned Knee Discussion today, is the tension between giving our kids enough freedom to help them grow, and yet at the same time keeping them safe. In today’s world we’ve become so fearful of all the bad things that can happen that many of us try to protect (or over-protect) our children from everything. I even read in the newspaper about a parent who was warned by the police that she could be arrested for child endangerment because she let her son ride his bike to baseball practice alone!

In the Talmud we’re instructed that there are 3 things we are required to teach our children: 1) Torah 2) A trade and 3) How to swim! Swimming, of course, is a survival skill to teach our children. But more importantly, when we teach a child to swim we need to let go of her to see if she will, quite literally, sink or swim! For many of us, it’s the letting go part that’s so hard! But if we never allow our children to fail, they will never learn independence and resiliency.

This Fall, we left our oldest daughter at college for her Freshman year and I really had to let go. From the moment our babies become toddlers, they begin the process of inching away from us. In what seems like an instant, our child’s tearful goodbye on the first day of kindergarten becomes our own tearful goodbye on the dormitory threshold. And each time they move away from us, it’s our natural instinct to run and grab them back. Believe me, I was tempted when we left our daughter at college! We love our kids so much that we want to always be there for them because we think we know what’s best for them, or to shelter them from the harm we fear will befall them.

The fifth commandment teaches us to honor our parents. We honor our children when we believe in them, guide and encourage them and allow them the space they need to discover for themselves who they are destined to be.

Posted February 3, 2010 – 4:22 pm | Comments (0)

Woman Arrested for Wearing a Tallit at Western Wall

by open tent

By Rabbi Gayle Pomerantz, Open Tent Founding Director

I remember the first time I ever visited the Western Wall (also known as the Wailing Wall or Kotel). I was 16 years old and visiting Israel on the Alexander Muss High School in Israel program. I had this vision in my head of what it would be like to see the Wall for the first time, to touch it with my own hands, to smell the ancient city of Jerusalem…and I was utterly disappointed. First of all, the Wall looked much smaller than I had imagined, particularly the women’s side, which appeared to be about half the size of the men’s. Secondly, on the women’s side of the Wall, nothing was happening. All the action was on the men’s side – dancing, singing, praying out loud. And then, what was especially irksome, was that many women and girls had lined up by the partition, and were watching the activity on the men’s side, without any thought to making things happen on the women’s side. I vowed then and there, that I would one day return to the Wall and with devotion and love, bring life to the women’s side.

I am happy to say that I have fulfilled that vow. I have had the privilege of visiting the Wall on many, many occasions, and of bringing groups of women to pray, dance and sing with me there. Each time, when we lift our voices in song and our feet in dance, others join in, grateful for the opportunity of joyful expression. Luckily for us, we have never been arrested.

Earlier in November on a Wednesday morning, a young medical student visited the Wall with “Women of the Wall”, a group which has monthly Rosh Hodesh (new moon) meetings at the Wall, and she was arrested for wearing a tallit. Police said they arrested the women for not dressing in accordance with the site’s “dress code”. Orthodox men, threatened by women’s spirituality, are suppressing women’s desire to pray out loud as a community, wearing the traditional garments Jews wear in prayer.

All over the world, women are allowed to wrap themselves in a tallit, a traditional Jewish prayer shawl, for prayer – everywhere — except for the holiest place on earth! On this American holiday of Thanksgiving, I am grateful that I have the opportunity to pray as I wish, with other women or men, wearing a tallit or not. Next time I’m in Israel, I will once again pray at the Wall, and one of the things I will pray for is the acceptance of women’s rights in Israel.

Posted November 28, 2009 – 12:52 pm | Comments (1)

YAROQ, Judaism & Mindful Eating

by open tent

By Rabbi Gayle Pomerantz, Open Tent Founding Director

I just read in the paper that the Swedes are starting to put a new label on food – not the calorie number or protein content, but the amount of carbon used to produce and transport the product (e.g. “Climate declared: .87 kg CO2 per kg of product”, New York Times, October 23, 2009). I have heard that the average meal travels an astonishing 1500 miles from farm to fork.

All of us need to start paying attention to not only taking care of our bodies with the food we eat, but taking care of the world. There’s amidrash (a story) from Jewish tradition that says when God was finished creating the world, God took Adam and Eve on a tour of the Garden of Eden. At the end of the tour, God said, “Take care of this place. Because if you don’t, there will be no one to set it right after you.”

We here on Miami Beach, are trying to take steps to reduce our carbon footprint. This month, we are launching YAROQ, (which means “green” in Hebrew), an organic Jewish CSA (Community Supported Agricultural Initiative). The Open Tent and Temple Beth Sholom are working with an organization called Farm Fresh Miami to create a community of people who are interested in eating well and caring for our planet. Twice a month, Farm Fresh will deliver organic, locally grown produce to members of the CSA. About 60 individuals/families have already signed on.

Mindful eating has always been part of what it means to be a Jew. The tradition of sayings blessings before we eat is supposed to heighten our awareness of what we are about to eat, and our gratitude for the miracle of good food. (There’s even an i-phone ap now for which blessing to say before eating). I read a story about a teacher from Berkeley who told about a time when her students washed and trimmed and cut up all the ingredients to make a big salad. “Now wait,” she said, to the students. “Before we start eating, let’s stop to think about the people who tilled the ground, planted the seeds and harvested the vegetables.” Then the kids stood up at their desks and gave the salad a standing ovation. Now that’s mindful eating!

If you’re interested in being a part of our mindful eating community, Yaroq, please call: 786.507.6104, or write share@theopentent.org.

Posted October 26, 2009 – 2:17 pm | Comments (0)

Welcome to the Open Tent!

by Rabbi Gayle Pomerantz, Founding Director

As a 21st century rabbi, I am looking for creative and engaging ways to bring Judaism into the lives of American Jews. I have been a congregational rabbi for 18 years and love the opportunity I have to help build a community at my congregational home. But about half of the Jewish population isn’t connecting to a synagogue. There are lots of different reasons why Jews may not feel comfortable in a synagogue – maybe they’re intimidated by a lack of knowledge or feel like they don’t fit in. That’s why we created The Open Tent.

Jewish tradition teaches that the very first Jew, Abraham, sat in a tent that was open on all sides so he could welcome people from every direction. That’s what we’re trying to do at The Open Tent. We want to create an environment where every Jew feels welcome – rich or poor, gay or straight, white or black, married, intermarried or single, young or old. And we also are trying to find ways to connect to Jews wherever they are – through innovative and edgy arts programs – parenting sessions for new parents – Jewish holiday celebrations at the Children’s Museum – olive oil tasting on Chanukah, and more.

Through this website, we want to highlight ways for Jews to learn more and build community. We hope this website will not only inform you of Open Tent partnerships and events, but lead you to more opportunities for Jewish connections. Please “Ask the Rabbi” when you have a question. Please share your thoughts and experiences on our stories and links pages. Please take the opportunity to surf the websites we have so carefully chosen for you to nurture your Jewish souls and enrich your lives.

We hope you will feel welcome inside The Open Tent. We hope you will find what you are looking for, and even some things you didn’t realize you were missing. We hope you will come back again and again.

Posted August 20, 2009 – 2:52 pm | Comments (1)